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more ramblings about memory
Nov. 24th, 2008 04:54 amA part of my reasons for writing fanfiction is for myself to remember. That’s why so many of my stories come in fragments, and why some of them stay that way.
When I wrote about a 2-year-old Miya-chan knocking down the chair in his way, that was me. When I wrote about an adolescent Kakashi suffering from the affliction of a hopeless love, that was me. When I wrote about Genesis, lounging about in a classroom and basking in casual defiance...that was me, too, in the end.
People say I have a good memory, but in the long term I don’t. Not really. Years come and years go in blank, leaving only things behind like wallpapers with washed-out color. These remanants are what I base my stories on. An echo. A reflection. A love song.
My parents insist that I fabricated some of the memories. They are lying, probably intentionally. (But that’s okay. There are things I’d never admit out loud to others either. Well, never is a long time, but you get the idea.) After all, I try to write things down as they happen. Have been for the past…oh, almost ten years. I rarely go back and read it, but it’s a comfort to know that it’s all there. Some of it ugly, most of it very sloppy, but at least it’s all there.
------------我是无辜的分割线------------
And of course, there are times when I look at the records and go, I DID WHAT?
Yeah, I did that.
.......
貴方の勝ちですよ。
ずっとまえから。
一生懸命、好きだったから。
When I wrote about a 2-year-old Miya-chan knocking down the chair in his way, that was me. When I wrote about an adolescent Kakashi suffering from the affliction of a hopeless love, that was me. When I wrote about Genesis, lounging about in a classroom and basking in casual defiance...that was me, too, in the end.
People say I have a good memory, but in the long term I don’t. Not really. Years come and years go in blank, leaving only things behind like wallpapers with washed-out color. These remanants are what I base my stories on. An echo. A reflection. A love song.
My parents insist that I fabricated some of the memories. They are lying, probably intentionally. (But that’s okay. There are things I’d never admit out loud to others either. Well, never is a long time, but you get the idea.) After all, I try to write things down as they happen. Have been for the past…oh, almost ten years. I rarely go back and read it, but it’s a comfort to know that it’s all there. Some of it ugly, most of it very sloppy, but at least it’s all there.
------------我是无辜的分割线------------
And of course, there are times when I look at the records and go, I DID WHAT?
Yeah, I did that.
.......
貴方の勝ちですよ。
ずっとまえから。
一生懸命、好きだったから。
