黑暗中的歌声

So I Have Been Thinking: My main obstacle with with writing Thor fic is that I don't really feel any of the other characters except maybe Frigga. No matter how close they are, the Thor/Loki relationship cannot happen in a vacuum. But I don't have the mental fortitude to forage my way around Marvel canon to know their Asgard and Avenger years, nevermind Loki's numerous hellspawns. So there are character depth issues here because...as important as the relationship is, it's not what defines Thor or Loki. There has to be more.

I just...can't seem to find a backstory for the both of them. And that bothers me, because I'm usually good at this sort of things. Usually I jump at this kind of opportunity, really. For Mycroft/Sherlock I conjured up a whole organization called Diogenes in the style of MI7 in order to provide character depth to Mycroft (because, let's face it, I find John very tricky to write from Sherlock's end). There was also the whole Holmes family history, which, in my head at least, provided motivations and development for both Mycroft has a character and his relationship with Sherlock.

With Thor and Loki, however, the problem seems to be that I know enough of the Norse mythology (arguably the ultimate-canon, though YMMV) AND Marvel-verse canons (yes, plural) to be unable to ignore them; yet at the same time I don't know nearly enough of them to comfortably navigate my way through them.

In the same vein of thought, I kind of feel bad about fulfilling norsekink prompts, because my fills (or would-be fills) are so...short. Alas, that's the only thing I'm halfway decent at, writing vignettes. (Well that and coming up with twisted plots.)

怎么说呢，OOC这个问题…………
固然一千个人有一千个哈姆雷特，你丫总不能给我牵来范冰冰说这是哈姆雷特吧！！！
—by Renata Lord

但我现在仍然深刻地理解着《同人大战》里孙家老二的心情：
全部给我往重口写！
全部给我往天雷写！
全部给我往后妈写！

好吧，报复社会是不对的……大概……(虽然只是大概) 所以我真的不应该写雷文。不管是中文还是英文。

你走高的路吧，我走低的路。

PS1: Iris我收到你的卡啦~~~啊哈哈，果然很漂亮呀！你是RP发现了还是良心发现了？Mua~
PS2: Raing，信息我发了……

Add OMG 我看到了神一样的配对！John/Irene！这是什么样的脑回路写出来的！

萌上了Eames。Arthur也很可爱。
但我最想看的CP是……Fischer/Eames。我萌认真的富家少爷攻下花花浪子不行咩……不行咩……
当然群众对此表示BS，因为群众们都冲着EAE去了。就算有配F和E的，也是E攻。
不过我还是加入了eames_arthur。EF的那个社区实在比较雷了……

( 和鸢尾的种种对话。 )

鸢尾：木有看到你签名啊
某蝶：签名是“知道怎么写HE是一个同人作者的基本素质”
鸢尾：写HE还要不苏得明显
某蝶：那是level 2....intermediate....
鸢尾：level3呢……
某蝶：大爱无形……？于是坑了……？
鸢尾：…………………我上次跟你说柏拉图……他自己写的，苏格拉底最后死的那篇
某蝶：上帝视角？
鸢尾：对哦是有点上帝视角……他没去他怎么知道……苏格拉底其实虾米都没写过，都是柏拉图写的苏的对话录。苏格拉底自己要饮下毒酒，他没去……然后苏就拿着酒杯说~The hour for departure has come, I to die and you to live. Which path is better only God knows.
鸢尾：然后老师说………………另外有个别的人记录了一篇苏格拉底死的时候的东西。完全不一样…………
某蝶：所以说，RPS要不得
鸢尾：我靠
某蝶：他也不写个disclaimer
鸢尾：哈哈哈哈哈哈~Plato's disclaimer……罗贯中也该写一个啊……
某蝶：我们以前都是写Don't know them. Never happened. Never will.
某蝶：Plato大概不用写前面一句……

Politically incorrect observational notes on (stereotyped) fandoms as represented by (stereotyped) religions. Based on conversations with dissociate after reading this particular little gem of a thread on the glorious fandomsecrets.

Spock/Uhura - Jehovah's Witness
Thinks everybody else hates them. Everybody else (who knows them) pretty much does.

SPN J2 - Scientology
Tinhattery at its finest. Also, astoundingly bad rep.

Harmony - Islam
DEATH TO THE UNBELIEVERS!

Kirk/Spock - Hellenistic
We gave you civilization as you know it. You are welcome.

Periodic sports RPS (Olympics, World Cup, etc) - New Age
Shiny, trendy, quickly forgotten but always comes back with a different face.

Misha's Minions - Rastafari
There's getting high, and then there's getting high.

Edward/Bella - Catholicism
The One True Church. Oh and, DEATH TO THE UNBELIEVERS!

I am suddenly hit with the realization that I gave up on Harry Potter not because Sirius Black died. No, I gave up on reading Harry Potter when Sirius Black died; but what made me turn away from the whole series (as in, a total ceasing of interest in all things related to it), in retrospect, was the Harry/Ginny ship. To be fair, I had not read the parts pertaining to it, but I was aware of the fan reactions around me, and they were pretty uniformly bad. As I was not about to read the actual book (see: Sirius Black being dead thing), I kind of had to take other people's words for it.

Incidentally, it's not because of slash. I don't ship Harry with anybody, at all. Never did and probably never will. (Although come think of it, HP gave me a great het couple for the parts that I did read: Ron/Hermione.)

Which leads to a mini rant, actually:

I am SICK of the whole "oh you are against a het-ship/female character because you are being unfair to women" mantra that I keep hearing. No. No. No. No. NO. I don't like YOUR het-ship because it's in conflict with my OTP (which happens het or slash), and I don't like YOUR favorite female character because I find her annoying or downright Mary Sue-ish. I like my het couples and female characters just fine, just not the ones YOU like. So stop making assumptions about me, bitch. —yeah, I went there. I am that mad about it.

There may well be a dearth of likable/strong/_________ female characters in popular media today, and yes that is a problem. But the solution is NOT trying to tell me that I SHOULD like or identify with the more popular candidates (because hey, I must be prejudiced if I don't).

And seriously? It's absolutely ridiculous that I should even feel the need to defend myself and my choices like this.

Feminism means liberation. Stop trying to oppress me with it.

在merlinxarthur上面看到第二季关于Gwen的预告，马上BLX了。

Guinevere那是公主，称号是The White Ghost，你给她演成这样子都算啥啊？ (是的，外貌协会的各位同志你们好，我胡汉三又回来了。)

我忍不了那女人配Arthur，这甚至不是从同人女角度而言的……说到底我就是肤浅，我就是不喜欢她因为我觉得她设定不萌性格太普通样子又难看。就算是Arthur/Morgana我也可以接受的啊！(因为，好吧，我承认我从Merlin开始被策反到Arthur那边去了……)

啊还有，也是因为那个Merlin讨论帖—真的很讨厌OT3甚至OT4这种说法。

因为我心目中的那种“最完美的”爱情，始终是绝对排他。我承认我的CP萌榜上面有三个三角关系，但那绝对不是所谓OT3的关系。相反地，这三个都是那种纠缠到底不得好死的(尤其是天上天下里面的慎/真夜/光臣)。

一旦真正认定什么东西，绝对一点都不淡定，一点都不博爱。One Piece里面我够博爱了吧，但是碰到要给碧香CP插一脚的，仍然是天雷。

不过说到底，是觉得配不上。互动再多，粉丝再多—对，我就是觉得这些人配不上我喜欢的那些人。红口白牙。

海野伊鲁卡配不上旗木卡卡西。
Nyota Uhura配不上Mr. Spock。
Leonard McCoy配不上James T. Kirk。

在我眼中就是这样。

哇唬，这么写出来好爽啊。

不能被逆的CP是没有前途的！！！！
(比如说，Black Blood Brother里面的Zelman大人和望月君…………orz 不过风魔的龙雾也许是个例外……)

Come let me love you, let me give my life to you,
Let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms.
Like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean.
Come let me love you, come love me again.
—John Denver, You Fill Up My Senses

So, uh yeah, to me this screams Kirk->Spock, post mind meld with Spock Prime. (Never mind the laughter part, because if you read kagedtiger's newest work Out of Time you would know that the Vulcan mind-laughter is the clearest, most beautiful sound in the world. <3)

Reading other people's wonderful works inspire me, of course. I can't count how many times a story touched that secret spot in my heart and made me see new possibilities for the relationships. They made me believe two people could love each other that much, would love each other that much.

Love is a beautiful thing, in the end.

Yet sometimes I am enveloped by such a despair, because I constantly feel that there is a lack of emotional honesty in my own work. Maybe that's why I like to write childhood stories, because childrens don't lie about feelings. At least, they tend to lie not very well. Either that or I write about scenarios where one party is already dead and long gone—the relationship doesn't die with it, but it can be only perserved like a butterfly under the glass.

I write in fragments because I love and remember in fragments.

Ultimately, though, despite all my protestations and frustrations, (most of the time) I write because I have a story to tell, because it demands to be told. At least, the better ones I write tend to form as such. Writing is like singing for me in that way. I will never be a professional singer, and I have forgotten how to read music sheets, but I just...can't not sing. Even when I am silent, there is a fairly good chance that I am singing in my own head. It's not Broadway or Madison Square Garden, but it's mine and it makes me happy.