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Ankh-Morpork Assassins' Guild

The Ankh-Morpork Assassins' Guild is a fictional school for professional killers in Terry Pratchett's longrunning Discworld series of fantasy novels. It is located in Ankh-Morpork, the largest city on the Discworld, and is widely considered by the elite to be the best option for a rounded education anywhere.

The Guild of Assassins is located in a light, airy series of buildings next to the Guild of Fools and Joculators, which, being a far more sinister building, is often mistaken for the Assassin's. The guild is currently headed by Lord Downey.

The Guild of Assassins is located in a light, airy series of buildings next to the Guild of Fools and Joculators, which, being a far more sinister building, is often mistaken for the Assassin's. The guild is currently headed by Lord Downey.

History

The Assassins' Guild was founded on 27 August AM1512 by Sir Gyles de Munforte as the de Munforte School for Gentlemen Assassins. Sir Gyles was a warrior knight who, during his crusades in Klatch, was intrigued by the Klatchian tradition of professional gentleman assassins, and decided to set up a similar organisation at home, only without the drugs.

In AM1576 the school was elevated to the status of a Guild. The name was changed to the Royal Guild of Assassins.

The 'Royal' was dropped after the 'events' of AM1688 (i.e. the Ankh-Morpork Civil War).

In response to huge demand among the aristocracy for their children to receive the well-rounded education the Guild offered, the Guild's charter was expanded to include those intending to gain skills in proper Assassination.

For most of its history the Assassins Guild School was a male-only establishment (although talented, self-taught women might become members of the Guild itself), however it has recently become co-educational.

Notable Locations

The Bell Tower houses the Inhumation Bell, which marks not only the hours (though fashionably late) but also the successful completion of an assassin's contract. It also tones to mark the passing of assassins (these can be the same thing). The Bell Tower is topped by Wiggy Charlie, a weathervane in the shape of a cloaked man.

The Cloister houses the busts and portraits of famous victims of the guild's various graduates, along with the date of death and the name of the Assassin with whose "assistance" they passed off their respective mortal coils.

The Museum contains many noted tools and traps, such as rigged teddy bears, used in successful killings.

The Library is the largest in Ankh-Morpork outside that of the Unseen University, though it probably surpasses the latter in "certain specialist areas".

Structure and Activities

Pratchett describes the Assassins' Guild in The Art of Discworld as a typical British public school with the knobs turned up to eleven. Like a British public school, it is divided into houses, often named for a deadly animal. The most oft-mentioned is Viper House, though Scorpion, Tree Frog, Raven and Cobra Houses have also been mentioned. Many houses appear to have been named after benefactors, such as Mrs Beddowes or Wigblock Prior. Initially a purely male institution, it has recognised the value of female students and has opened Black Widow and Mantis Houses for girls.

The Assassins' Guild is known for providing the best education in Ankh-Morpork. Most of the nobility in the city (and beyond) send their children there. Very few actually become assassins; many who attend do not learn valuable weapon skills, but are mainly there for the arts courses. These students are known as Oppidans, from the Latatian for "town". Guild graduates can be expected to be at home in any company, and to be able to play at least one musical instrument. However, those who do not graduate are generally never seen again; as noted in Wyrd Sisters, the Guild is fond of competitive examination, and Pyramids mentions that the Guild is "easy to get into and easy to get out of; the trick was to get out upright."

When an assassin reaches the end of his final year, he must undertake a "final exam" known as 'The Run', which consists of an oral test, a run through an obstacle course at night in Ankh-Morpork and the targeted killing of a single individual. As described in Pyramids, it is designed to test all aspects of the trade, including covert maneuvering, climbing, trap evasion, contingency planning, and (at the end) the ability to actually line up your target and finish the job—all under pressures akin to a real contract (failure is always fatal, and students have bounties on them during 'The Run'). To prepare for 'The Run', the Guild encourages particularly competitive forms of recreation; in particular the "Wall Game" (far more sadistic than the real-world Eton wall game, it is essentially an extreme hybrid of rock-climbing and dodgeball), and Stealth Chess. Furthermore, a school sport is edificeering--the climbing of buildings, often done on unusual/notable buildings in the city itself, with each major building having a rating out of 10 representing how difficult it is to climb (as noted in Pyramids). School houses have their own teams, and the teams compete against one another.

Coat of Arms

A shield, bisected by a bend sinister et purpure. Dexter a poignard d'or, draped with a masque en sable, lined gris on a field gules. Sinister two croix d'or on a sable field.

Motto: Nil Mortifi Sine Lucre (No killing without payment).

Code of Conduct

The Assassins' Guild has a strict code of conduct. It is considered absolutely unforgivable for an Assassin to kill (or as they refer to it, "inhume") for any reason other than being paid to do so. Of course, to distinguish themselves from common hitmen, the assassins' code also demands that they be paid a very large amount to do so. Typical Guild contracts have the Guild taking half of the payment, with the Assassin keeping the remainder. The code also demands Assassins never reveal the source of the contract. After an inhumation they must by law always leave a receipt. They must also give the client (they view the victim as the client) a sporting chance, and thus are forbidden from accepting contracts on those who are unable to defend themselves (though for their purposes, anyone wealthy enough to afford bodyguards is considered able to defend themselves, whether they have actually hired any or not). With this in mind the Guild strongly disapproves of firearms (which are, in any case, extremely uncommon on the Disc), and also of most (but not all) other mechanical or chemical weapons. They also frown on performing jobs on the street (again to distance themselves from common hitmen) and prefer to service a client in his/her home or place of business (Feet of Clay).

It is accepted that an Assassin may find it necessary to inhume bodyguards, including other Assassins, while on a commission. However, if these can be incapacitated without being killed, it is considered good manners to do so.

In very rare cases, usually of personal offence, the head of the Assassins' Guild may stretch some of those rules, if only to make a statement. This is known as "Inhumation with extreme impoliteness." It is also the case that the rules may be relaxed if the Assassin is "outside civilisation" (the Überwald area is considered outside civilisation, as are the more remote areas of Klatch. The Assassins have not, as yet, been known to operate in the Counterweight Continent or FourEcks).

An Assassin must always act with style. Without style, he's just an expensive thug. They must always dress stylishly in black (which, although not the best colour for being unseen at night, is the correct colour for being an Assassin) and must always seem vaguely bored and, if possible, slightly foreign.

The rules of Assassination are so utterly formalised and strict that anyone with a strategic mind, a decent budget, and a firm knowledge of their code can usually avoid death at their hands, as Commander of the City Watch Sam Vimes has proved many times. The Commander has been so difficult to inhume that as of the events of The Fifth Elephant, the last time the Guild was approached, no one stepped forward to accept the contract, despite the six-hundred-thousand dollar fee (pg 131), and by " Night Watch " he was off the register, preventing anyo ne from taking out a contract on him, an order so powerful only the Lord Vetinari has ever been "struck off" before, although this was also for political reasons.

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